Howertons: According to Daddy

Apparently the most important birthday's EVER, occur within 3 days of each other.

In case you are unaware, they are as follows:
Tuesday, December 23rd - Joseph Smith
Wednesday, December 24th - Daddy
Thursday, December 25th - Jesus

There you have it. Gospel according to Daddy :)

Nooshies Funnies

(M) Did you spill your ice cream Noosh?

(N) yes, but not on my bed, on Chan's bed. It was an accident.

(M) it was an accident?

(N) yes, um. Nope it was on purpose, not an accident.

(N) is KD still sleeping?

(M) yes

(N) is she in your bed?

(M) yes.

please don't bother her.

(N) I'm not.

I'm bothering you.

(N) Uncle Jake? What is your name?

(uncle J) uh, it's Peter.

(N) oh (confused)

(N) No, it isn't. It's Uncle Jake!

(N) what are you doin mama?

(M) I'm washin all your scribbles off the wall.

(N) No, that's not scribbles, that's the star I colored for daddy!

(N) I found a sucker!

(Mom) yeah, that's Beans sucker.

(N) oh, I go hide in the closet with it.

(Noosh) Look! I'm playing car!

(mom) oh yeah, that's the Noddy game.

(N) No- I not playing naughty.

(mom) no, Noosh I meant the game- his name is Noddy

(N) oh- he's being naughty.

Hey mommy, you have Yogo's on your jammies. (my pj bottoms are polka dot)

(mommy) Nooshie, please stop being naughty. It's not nice.

(Noosh) I don't want to watch Noddy, I'll be nice.

(singing) Hush little baby, don't say the B word

mama's going to make you a peanut butter sandwich.

(N) I wanna wear my jammies today.

(M) but we are going to be leaving to go do stuff today.

(N) Oh, I look fine.

Uh oh mama! There are cheeseboogers come en outta my nose!

(dad) uh oh, you're loosing all the food out of your mouth. How do you do that?

(N) i mhamoneumamuh.....

Mama, don't pank my bottom, its owees. Pank my head instead, ok?

Nooshie tripped over a toy lying on the floor and then came running to tell me "mama, pick that toy up! It broke my head!"

(N) Hey Beans, what's dat?

(B) it's bling bling

(N) no, its not. its a neckace!

I recently told the kids to stop playing with the camera because I was tired of 162 feet shots. So today when I was taking a picture, Nooshie came up to me and said "Mama, stop playin wif the camwa!"

Nooshie took all of our tootsie pops and lined them up against the wall. He then took the camera and said "Say cheese suckas"

Mommy asked Nooshie if he was playing in her makeup.

Nooshie responded oh so confidently: "No, I was playing wif daddy's makeup!"

(We were playing slug bug in the car with the kids)

I see a bed bug! its a green one, look!

(M) you do? that's great!

I see green grandma bug!

It's flying.

(Chan) So, grandma is a car?

Chandlerisms

Dad- Don't forget today is Fast Sunday.
Chan- it is?! So what time do we get out, then?

Beans was working on her homework, specifically the /b/ sound. She sounds out: buh eh nnn, Ben!
(C) hey! I have a friend that sounds like that! What's his name? um.....

(C) If you have her fall back, I'll catch her.
No really, just push her.

(Chan to Beans)
I left my other stuffed animals upstairs, cause they are old enough to be left alone.

(C) Dad, were you alive when Hockey was invented?
(D) Hockey was invented in like 1850.
(C) Well, didn't you help write the rules or something?

(C) mom, did you used to play this game on the computer when you were my age?
(M) We didn't have computers to play games on when I was a little kid.
(C) That's TERRIBLE!!

(C) Mom? Is the M word a bad word?
(M) what's the M word?
(C) Moron!
(M) are you calling me that, or just asking if that's the M word?
(C) will I get in trouble?

(C) so, if you buy a soda - do you get a straw for free?
(M) yes
(C) Sweeeet!

(C) Hey, um, How do you spell favorite?
(dad) D..A...D
(C) Noooo! :)

Grrrr. ( just kicked his toys over)
My feet should have to pick those up, since they spilled them!

(Dad) ok, guys I'm going to be setting up the web cam so we can see grandma tonight!
(C) You bought a WEBKIN?!

Hey mom, remember when Beans tried KD's Baby food?
Well, I just tried some and it's not that bad.
I wanted to throw up, but not that bad.

(B) hey Chan
(C) I am not Chan, I am a robot
(B) no, you are not
(C) yes I am
(B) Then why do you look like Chan?
(C) Because I created him

Chan to Beans:
(C) Stop copying me.
(B) I'm not copying you!
(C) Yeah you are, I heard you.
(B) can you hear me now?
(C) yes.
(B) can you hear me now?
(C) yes.
(B) I didn't say anything that time.
(C) well, I read your mind

(M) Did you write your name on the wall with marker?
(C) Yeah, did you see it?! I wrote it in Cursive!

(C) What's a number between 10 and 50,000?
(M) 450
(C) no, 405,639 Million!

(C) Can you make me a Peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
(m) sure.
(C) good, cause I like it when you bake. You're a good cook!

(C) When I'm 29 I'm going to have my own phone.
(B) when I'm 100, I'm going to have my own phone.
(C) When you're 100, you would have had your own phone for 100 years. You should say 30 or something cuz I already picked 29.

Hey look, I'm giving dad a Dutch Rub.
You know my friend calls them Nuggies
You know like Chicken Nuggies.

Hey guess what mom? K just said 50 - 50 is 0!
(m) really? K said that?
(C) yep.
(m) can I hear it?
(C) well you won't understand cause she says it in Chinese.
and well, she only says it to me.

(C to A) I wish I was you - you have it easy. I want to be a kindergartner, First Grade is Dang Hard!
(B) You mean you want to be back in Mrs. R's Class?
(C) Seriously stop it, you have it easy and don't even know it.

Hey mommy?
(M) yes, C?
Nevermind, you're not good at it.
(M) good at what?
Nothing, you're not good.

I was getting C dressed and told him it was time
to put his shoes on:
He stood up and started to walk away and said "Feet not included"

mom, can I have some of your drink?
(mom) Sure.
(B) what kind is it?
(C) It's Mr. Piggs.
(mom) you mean Mr. Pibb
(C) oh yeah... giggle, giggle.

mom, since when has our house been yellow?
(mom) Since always.
Well it looks kinda white.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

According to Daddy

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