2013. Phhhhht!

Sooo. I'm lazy. Or I just got bored with the blog. And I'm lazy. Yea. That sounds more like it. I was remembering how I used to complain on the blog, but in a way that was sarcastic and funny or just sarcastic. You know the kind where I can whine about life and nobody cares because it's my blog anyway?? I find myself needing that in our world right now. I figured since I have abandoned the blog long enough, no one reads it anyway, so it's not like I actually have to worry about my pride or self esteem or correct grammar and punctuation. I mean, Who does that any more? What with all the #hashtagging And txtng- I find myself feeling like I don't even know what country I live in. Man... I'm getting old :( So, It's October. (Where the hell did June - September go??) There are Christmas decorations out at every store- forget about the fact that Halloween is still a half a month away. There are cadbury eggs at the checkout counter. Tricky, I thought- because im a sucker for those creme filled chocolate things-except its not Easter. Its Halloween! So the clever bunny re-wrapped those delicious calorie hogs with some bats and witches and wouldnt you know it... People still buy them. I am almost certain those are leftovers from like 3 Easters ago- so buyer beware.. Tricky little bunny.. Theres no treat in there :) 2013 has been a complete bust. If I could take the entire year and throw it in a shredder. I would. In a second. Don't tempt me. People already feel superstitious about the number 13- so its not like I'm hating any extra on it- except that I am. I totally am. There was one point in the year, when I was like "you know what 2013? I'm not going to let a superstition get me down, no I'm not." But then you know what happened? 13 reared it's ugly superstitious head and I was all like "ok. Is this how you wanna play? Alright. I'll see your pile of crap and when I've defeated it, then we'll see who's boss? mmmk?" But then 13 dumped on me. I'm still digging out. Actually, to be honest, my head is above the stank... But that's about it. So, in teenage girl fashion- I'm not talking to 2013. We aren't even frenemies anymore. And someday, I'll talk like an actual 35 year old woman should. Okay, who am I kidding :) If I'm being truly honest, you should know that I am actually closer to insanity. And for the funny people, yes, more than usual. This year, in all seriousness has been hard. The trials we have been faced with- have never been this hard. Ever. I have never felt this hopeless. I have never needed our Savior to swoop on in and save me more, than I have in 2013. I've struggled to stay positive. And I've struggled to feel the blessings we have been given. Last night, I finally gave it all back to our Father in Heaven. I cant actually remember the last time i did that.. Give up, and quit. I just can't muster up any more faith, I can't find anymore strength to continue in these trials. I'm tired and I'm broken. I just need a tender mercy and a little break in the bleak. I just need a giant hug from Heaven saying everything's going to be ok. So, tonight, I pray- that you will count your blessings and Remember that no matter what you are going through- its okay to give it back to God when it seems too hard to finish. I keep thinking of the footsteps poem. And it is now, that I know we are truly being carried. I couldn't do this on my own. I just keep praying for that light at the end of this very loooong tunnel.