I have to admit, I love it when my hubby is high.
Yes from drugs. But under the strict supervision of a pain management doctor.
Ok, seriously - he is like the king of one liners and the other day as we were stressing about the school stuff, he was just rolling the best one liners off like they were on cue cards in front of him.
I love to laugh and I think humor is evidence of someone that is genuinely happy (or very High) and wouldn't it just be a funner place if we had nothing but one liners in response to the crap that gets thrown at us?
My favorite thing is sarcasm. Its hard to not use it, so I've compiled a couple of my favorite sarcastic one liners, please don't be offended. They are not directed towards you (this time)
You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse
Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
Don't let your mind wander, it's far too small to be let out on its own.
I bet you get bullied a lot.
I don't mind you talking so much, as long as you don't mind me not listening.
I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you
You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different way
Here's hoping that you'll be able to smile the next time life gets cruddy.
1 week ago
4 comments:
I cant remember all the ones C would spew out but my favorite time he thew something quick and witty out was when we were standing in an elevator with a lady and her young child in a stroller, C looks at the lady and kid and then looks back at me and says "so when did the judge say you could be around kids again" man I just died. I also liked the "you look much better without that orange suit on". And of course when he uses this humor to draw gasps from others, like when Chan was a little baby crying at church and you guys struggled to get him to calm down, C would just look around and say "we don't feed him at home" - man that just kills me! I think sarcasm is the best thing ever!!
If you thought those were great - before we had kids, Melinda and I were in line at the grocery store. The line was very long, and the person in front of us had a coupon for every single item she was buying. It was very important for her to save ten cents off a water mellon.
At one point, as we continued to wait, I looked at Melinda and said:
"How do you think the baby is doing at home?"
To which she replied:
"I don't don't, but she will probably be up soon, and I forgot to lock the door."
The lady in front of us looked terrified that she was now a party to the horrible neglecting of a child.
Thanks for bringing those memories back.
My favorite one is when some one asks you "Does this dress/suit/shirt/etc make me look fat?" your response is, "No, your FACE does."
Gary had this sign on the door of his study through most of med school:
I only have time to care about one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I knew he and C were kindred spirits!
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