Say it ain't so

We have noticed over time, that our sweet, sometimes obnoxious two year old is changing. His eyes are different when you look into them and he's becoming more and more like his big brother.

I have scheduled a screening with an autism specialist for Nooshie. She is the local early childhood intervention specialist. She evaluates young children and then helps the parents get them the resources their child might need.
I have put off this phone call for a while, because I wanted to believe that Nooshie's New little quirks, were just that. He would grow out of it soon and he would be okay.

It has only continued to get worse. Our little boy is slipping away from our reality into his own.
We decided that our trip to Chicago would be a great time to really evaluate every little thing he did. He would be out of routine and subject to a lot of changes.

It was eye opening.
It was heartbreaking.

He has ticks. Not the bugs, but the kind that can get super annoying especially when you are sitting in the same car with him for three hours straight. He coughs, like clearing your throat kind of a mini cough. He sniffs, too many times to count, but has no runny nose or allergies.
He doesn't respond to his name as often anymore. It takes longer and longer to get his attention. His verbal communication is fantastic for a child this age, and yet we had conversations with him that neither of us could understand. He is mumbling, he slurs. His eye contact has diminished. His constant need for dad, while annoying at times, is just like his brother. He still wakes in the middle of the night for what we believe is no reason. Ready for the day at 1am. The urge to just run, no matter where we are. No fear. The need to constantly move his feet, even while we are sitting, the inability to find comfort in pants, underwear or diapers and these are just a few.

I just finished completing a sensory profile for Chan's new occupational therapist and while I was shocked at how many things are sensory related for him, it was more shocking to realize that they are ALL also true for our little guy.

The need to rub his hand or an object against the wall as we walk, the demands to repeat the things he says in the exact tone he says it.

All of these are things that can easily go unnoticed and or written off as a stage a child goes through. Unless you have already been through this stage with another child and realize they don't ever grow out of it. We thought we were bad parents with Chan. Boys are different than girls, we were told. It was comforting to find out it wasn't us. It actually was him.

We don't view a diagnosis as a disability, but rather an ability. The ability to help him have a better, more productive life. We don't know what it is like to live in his world, but we hope to give him the advantage to live life in ours.

Our appointment is on Wednesday. I hope to learn a lot. This is just the beginning, but I feel better all ready.